Breathe...Just Breathe

When your work feels stressful and you are drained by the end of the week..its best to blog about the little things that make me happy in life. That's all I can do to manage to get through this year. (This will be the worst year of my career..and if I could explain in detail you'd agree)..But here are the things that made me happy this week and got me through: Watching my tapes of "The View" every night before bed, because Rosie makes me laugh and smile. The View is the best it's ever been, thanks to her.. The season premiere of Grey's Anatomy. I've waited months.. so glad its back. Ahhh the emotions, the intensity. I love that show..and McDreamy..A Friday night treat of waffle fries with cheese, chives and sour cream--to share with my family. I've lost weight steadily with my job stress..so I deserved them :). Last weekend my treat was Dove Feel the Mint ice cream..with a chocolate grenache coating on the top..ohhh heavenly.. And for today..going shopping in the rain..and a family dinner later on..All good things. If only Monday weren't coming just so fast..

so far away

that complete and utter calm by the ocean-feeling seems so far away.. its actually two months ago at this point..and right now feels so opposite of that..that it hurts. sometimes you don't know until you are IN a job how stressful/and draining it is..until you are IN it. I've worked in this profession for years and loved it. Just not this grade level. So I now know that its not my favorite..and its not something i can change until i finish this ten month job. After that I can switch and I will..because this is not meant for me. This year must be my year to learn the hard way however..ocean calm feelings won't be here..and for a variety of reasons..and working with a person who is tightly wound (my coworker) can make you feel tightly wound yourself..so that is no fun. I am learning though. I will not do this again next year..I miss the smell of the ocean and the sand beneath my feet and the way my blood just smoothly ran thru my veins instead of jumping and tightening..I feel stuck. Stuck because there is no walking away when you're in this business and just want another age group to work with because that's where you work best. You stick it out and finish..and then make your change..ten months of feeling stuck isn't good. I hope I can get through the ten months and be ok. I've lost weight without trying..and weekends go too fast.

Party Over

The family party is over..All survived..family intact..everyone took care of themselves as usual..my anxiety always feels silly once its over..until next year when I do it all over again. Why is that? Why can't I just see how it worked itself out and not worry anymore about all the family dynamics?! I shopped today for back to school clothes for myself..one more day--tomorrow..and then its back to work. I'm looking forward to it yet parts of it will take some getting used to. Going back to that six am alarm clock will be a shock to my system. I've not gotten up before 8am now all summer..I'll be very tired by this Friday :) Hopefully we'll all be adjusted in a couple weeks. My son still in denial that school for him begins on Wednesday. Its a rough transition..leaving summer freedoms behind for all day in school and homework every night. A school year of hard work for both of us ahead.. party OVER.